A travel website said the "things your flight attendant won't tell you" include passing decaffeinated coffee off as regular. George Hobica, founder of AirfareWatchdog.com, said flight attendants speaking on condition of anonymity revealed some of their secrets of their trade.
... "You know that coffee you ordered? It's actually decaf even though you asked for regular. We'd rather you sit back, relax and fall asleep so you don't bother us too much."
... "If a flight is going to be late anyway, we've been known to delay it even further to make sure our overtime pay kicks in. We might find some minor defect in the aircraft or use some other ruse to make up for the money we don’t get paid waiting for take off."
... "Who do we upgrade? Not the slob who's dressed in a dirty tank top. It helps if you're extremely nice, well dressed, pregnant, very tall, good looking, one of our friends or all of the above."
... "I want to yank your headphones off after I've asked you what you want to drink and you've responded 'huh?' three times. After the fourth, I just move on or give you Coke."
... "Please don’t ask me what we’re flying over. I’m as clueless as you are. I am not flying the plane."
... "Jiggling you’re your glass of ice at me won’t make me dash to the galley for a refill. In fact, it makes me want to scream."
... "We really don’t like children. Not just your children, children period. Why do you think we chose a career where we spend half our lives away from home?"
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